How do you stay safe while hooking up?

[cumcurious]

Obviously on a site like this I'm not talking about condoms. The idea of completely anonymous sex is such a turn on, but at the same time it seems like such a risk to me. You don't really know who you're dealing with, for all you know the guy you meet at a club or online is a serial killer or kleptomaniac. What I'm curious about is what you guys do when meeting up with someone, especially someone you've never met, so something doesn't go wrong.

[layedback]

First of all, hooking up with strangers is no different than taking a raw cock up your ass. If you aren't willing to accept the risks, then stay home. There are no guarantees in this life.

Secondly, if you're going to do it, I suggest that you stay sober. Don't get fucked up on booze and other substances and go home with someone you've never met. For anonymous hookups, you should have a clear head and be alert. I'm not advising paranoia, but maintain some awareness of the situation. I think we all possess intuition. The trick is to acknowledge that little voice in your head. I've never been in a trick situation that became violent or frightening, and I think it's because I've learned how to go with my gut feeling about strangers. If you're the slightest bit uncomfortable with something, there's probably a good reason.

I'd also recommend learning how to defend yourself. I usually insist on hooking up in my own home, because I feel like I've got the advantage in my territory, but if I'm forced to go elsewhere, I know how to react to a bad scene. I'm a fairly small guy, but I assure you, if I'm threatened, I can take care of myself, and I don't fight fairly. Try to do something to me that I don't want, and I'll go medieval on your ass.

Last of all, let somebody know what you're up to. If I meet somebody at a new location, I'll text a friend and let them know where I am. I have a small circle of friends with whom we have this mutual agreement. It may not save my life, but if I do get killed, at least the cops will have a lead in finding my body, and more than likley the perp will go down for the crime.

Just be sensible and alert. You can be a victim anywhere at anytime.

[Inception]

I prefer to meet up somewhere else the first time I meet a guy, like at a bath house, or even just at a park. I had a couple bad experiences with guys who I had over, or even just guys I gave my home phone number to. If I meet at a park, I try to be aware of exits and don't take a wallet, and usually try to park my car further away so the guy doesn't know which is my car.
I used to meet up of off phone sex lines, so you got a chance to talk to the person a bit, which gives you a way better idea of the person than just emails.
The bad experiences were slightly crazy guys who got obssessed with me, I never had to take any legal actions, but had to be consistent and agressive about telling them to fuck off, and had to threaten them as well. Both were closeted and I had to find out their personal info and then let them know that their friends and family would know about them if they continued stalking me.
These were different from guys who I had over to my place and was into who would start calling me up just whenever they were horny. With most of these I was young and not prepared mentally for these sorts of relationships, thinking that I should be looking for more than just being these guys go to for service. Usually they were married and I felt a lot of guilt towards their wives/ children etc. But I've never had better sex and these scenes especially got me into enjoying licking out sweaty dirty assholes of guys on their way home after a day at work. More than anything, this excited these guys since this is something their wives would never do, and evenn if they had said they weren't looking to fuck, many would get so horny that they would then take my hole.

[Totop]

I've never been in a bad situation til date, luckily. I always chat up the guy a bit to get a feel for his personality and sexual likes. But no endless chat as that's a turnoff. I also avoid instant hookups. I say I cant meet right now but would def like to meet some other time. Usually if he is interested he will contact me a week or so later if I'm online. This helps to sift out some of the flakes. I also think it is the type of guys you go far. I only go for single gay boy-next-door type guys. Not saying they are all sane. But so far haven't come across any crazies.

[NiceHard1]

Lots of good ideas here. Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts. Here are some of mine...
-Use sites like this and spend a little time chatting and getting to know someone first
-Get to know guys through other guys/friends who have had good experiences with them
-Go to local bars and do it the old fashion way - and get to know your bartenders - they know their customers. I've had bartenders pull me aside and tell me to be careful of certain questionable guys. Also, I've done the same for other friends of mine when seeing them talk with guys who I don't trust.
-let a friend know when you're hooking up with someone
-Use your instinct. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
-Never feel obligated to have sex just cause you make a date to hook up.
-Its OK to change your mind and say NO even after you're naked

[pheashivada]

my advise:
~ stay in a public area... don't meet in a discrete place alone or dark...
~ pick a place u know well, know at least 3 public exists and if they have cameras that's best too... in case anything goes wrong most guys don't think bout environment exposures, getting them on a cam with u spending a few hours in a mall will assist in building a profile for the cops to understand, pick up his prey technique and develop a file to at least protect others.
~ and look them in the eyes... u can always see the intent in the eyes

at least these tricks work for me

[seaguy]

I would say if your going to be doing any drugs just don't overdue it so that you pass out or become somehow vulnerable. But doing a little T, G or whatever won't hurt if anything in my experience it makes me more alert and aware. But getting drunk is the worst thing to do. If you pass out then your wallet and whatever else you had on you might not be there when you wake up if you hooked up with a thief.

[rawTOP]

The advice on staying sober is good. One piece of advice I heard a while ago is never do drugs unless you're around friends who you trust enough to look after you and do the right thing if something goes wrong.

The vast majority of guys into anonymous hookups are just horny. The "bad" situations are mostly assholes or guys who are bad lays. There might be some guys who force you to do something beyond your limit - so they're technically raping you, but by and large it's truly rare for your life to be in danger on a hookup.

That said, the risk isn't zero. One way to protect yourself is to get the phone number and verify it by calling or texting them before you meet up. At least then the police will have a solid lead when they're investigating your disappearance/murder If you add the details you know about the person (name, address, handle, etc.) on your phone's address book, all the better. I'm mostly joking with the disappearance/murder thing, but asking people verifiable personal information is actually really good at weeding out weirdos (though it doesn't weed out the PNP crowd - if you give someone your phone number you may get woken up at 2am some morning by one of your tricks who's high and going through his address book looking to get fucked). In general though I find weirdos are put off by honesty and openness.

[Inception]

The last time I agreed to meet up with someone from online was last month. I had been on Squirt camming (is Squirt popular in the US?) and this hot twink in Australia was being really verbal and I gave him what he wanted to see - me riding a big toy. I didn't realize that a local guy was watching me til he messaged me. He was about 15 minutes away and wanted in right away. I put him off as I had to go to work, but he messsaged me a few times over the next week. Our messages back and forth were slightly coy, but I understood he wanted to breed me. He gave me an hotmail address that included the words pnp, which raised my eyebrows. Then he gave me his address and said to come over, and that the lights would be off but that he would be waiting on the couch naked and doing poppers waiting for a bj. The lights out thing raised more flags, so I asked to meet instead at thew tubs and he agreed. Before going into the tubs at the agreed time I went into a Subway across the street to get something to eat first. Ahead of me in line was this obvious tweaker, who looked like a haggard version of the photo I'd been sent, and he was accompanied by two well known skanky hustlers. As soon as I walked in the hookers and I made each other and I looked at them as if to say, "What the fuck are you losers up too?" and they quietly took off. They left the older guy behind, and he looked like he was really hurting, but at the same time he was giving me these sort of hopeful looks like I might be interested. Strangely, before going into the Subway I had given a panhandler outside like $3, all the change on me, and he was outside the Subway yelling and pointing at me saying "See people! That is a motherfucking good man!" I don't know what would have happened if the homeless guy wasn't making such a commotion.

[cumcurious]

Thanks everyone, you guys gave a lot of great advice. I'll be sure to try out some of the things you all suggested

[MascMountainMan]

That said, the risk isn't zero. One way to protect yourself is to get the phone number and verify it by calling or texting them before you meet up. At least then the police will have a solid lead when they're investigating your disappearance/murder If you add the details you know about the person (name, address, handle, etc.) on your phone's address book, all the better.

This is also great advice for avoiding the flakes too. If a guy isn't willing to give you a phone number (or answer the phone or a text), then he's probably not going to follow through on the hookup either. If I'm traveling, I always call or text before I leave, both to give him a heads up for when to expect me and also to verify that he's legit.