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That is the date this probably happened. There were other times that it could have happened, but that date was a good one. Eight to twelve bottom guys at the Steamworks in Berkeley, all bareback. I knew it could happen, but I did what I wanted to do anyway.


I don't regret it. Maybe I will someday, but not now. For now, it was hot, and my current situation does not change that. Also, I now find little reason to not proceed with my life as I want. Only difference now, I will not fear HIV.



I had thought through what fucking bareback could mean. I had considered what would happen to me if I sero-converted. So far, what I considered is mostly correct. I find I am not surprised.



Am I really as okay as I think I am, or is some bad situation lurking inside my head waiting for some future trigger. Either could be true, but I really do not feel doomed at this point. Instead, I feel defiant!




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